The Warrior Quadlet Digs In

My little fighter's HR. Of course, I am worried, perhaps without reason, because it was 149 today but 164 Tuesday. Nothing will keep me from worrying.

An update: I had more bleeding throughout the night, and my stomach was flat when I woke up. I cried from 3-6 am and finally fell asleep again for an hour. I was certain all hope was lost. When I got to the hospital, I saw a set of infant twins and almost died. In the office, I started to cry again after getting my BP taken. I was a mess in anticipation of of my sonogram. But guess what? That 4th bean is still fighting in there. My little warrior is still going strong. We have to get through the next few weeks to give him or her a good clear shot at making it to term. I'm still in shock over the loss of the others, but I am probably equally shocked at the fight in this one. We are so relieved. I don't have to put away my maternity clothes, after all. I was prepared with all sorts of questions about D&C, and chromosome testing, and starting over with fertility. And now I have been given the gift of STILL being pregnant. It's amazing. Still praying for that fourth fighter. He or she will receive a warrior's name.

This is our little warrior baby moving around. I love how you can see the baby's little mouth open and close and the hands move up to the face. So cute and sweet. This is how they all looked six days ago, so I am STILL nervous. But I'm thankful he's still with us now.

And then there was one...

I am broken-hearted. I just returned from an emergency trip to my MFM. I had some light spotting yesterday, and this morning I had a gush of blood. An ultrasound this morning showed one of my mono-di babies had no amniotic fluid and a HR of only 80. That one isn't going to make it, obviously. My remaining di-di baby has no heartbeat and no amniotic fluid. I have one baby still living, and the HR looks good. But they all looked good 5 days ago. I am in such disbelief that this has happened, and I don't know what to do. I know I have to be positive for my surviving quad. It's so hard, and I'm terribly worried. I have another scan Thursday to check on that one. Prayers appreciated. How do I cope with this?

TWELVE WEEKS!

Holy cow! THAT's a 12-week belly? Geez. I'm in for it.

I have officially entered my second trimester (I keep on wanting to say, "semester"). That's so awesome! My mom will be here in two weeks, and I will have three ultrasounds in a row that week. The first is on the 27th, and it is my NT, or nuchal translucency testing. It examines the thickness of the pocket of skin on the back of the babies' necks to determine whether or not any of them have Down's Syndrome. I wasn't going to bother with the testing, but I want that piece of mind. I'm sure there isn't anything to worry about. My second ultrasound is with my MFM, or maternal fetal medicine specialist, Dr. U, on the 29th. She's the one I saw Monday. My third ultrasound is on the 2nd, with the MFM group again, but it is a different Dr. I think that one is going to be more extensive than usual. I'm not really sure.

Anyway, I have been continuing to feel great. The boys and I went on a long this morning, for two hours. We went around town, and then we played at the playground for a long time. I am so fat right now that I wore a maternity t-shirt and my big, size 8 pants. Even in an 8, I had to unbutton them. Nice.

Yesterday was mostly a horrible day, so I'm glad to be doing well today. Brillo was sick, and he had an appointment for a dental cleaning and to have a cyst removed from his hip. He was scared, and I hated leaving him. After that, Axel and I headed to a local daycare to fill out some paperwork and let him play for a few minutes. I do not like being faced with having to leave my son under someone else's supervision and care, but here we are. There will be a time when I won't be able to take care of him myself, so I want to get him warmed up to the teachers and children there. I believe he will really love it once he gets used to it, but right now, he tends to freak out. He is great when someone comes over and stays at the house with him, but daycare is just too different. He cries. He cries uncontrollably. He gets those spasms that make it hard to breathe. He throws up. I wanted to let him play while I filled out the paperwork, and then I wanted to take him to the zoo while Brillo was at the vet. I asked if I could bring him in that afternoon or the next morning for an hour or so, and they said they would prefer he stay right then. I felt pressured and canceled the zoo trip. But then he started crying, twice, and it just broke my heart. I didn't have his diapers, he hadn't eaten. I just felt awful about the situation and decided to take him and go to the zoo. Stupid hormones. I started crying in front of the daycare ladies. What a dummy. I just couldn't help it. He was so sad, and the reality of my situation was hitting me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't handle it, and I left so quickly I forgot his shoes. Argh.

I was still upset by the time we arrived home, and I fed him quickly, letting him eat while I packed snacks and clothes for our zoo trip. I was meeting my friend Deb and her baby, so we got in the car and headed out. She was parked at the local coffee shop, and I saw her car on the other side of a four-way intersection. For some unfathomable reason, my mind just went through the intersection to her location, and I suddenly found myself blowing through a stop sign that I stop at several times a day, every day. WTH? Of course, the La Mesa breakfast brigade (cops) had just finished up their 2-hour coffee and lunch break and were sitting on their parked motorcycles watching me. I parked next to my friend and waited for the cop to walk over to my window.

He wanted to know why I didn't stop. I started bawling, like an idiot. I couldn't help it. I explained I was having a horrible day: my dog was in surgery, I had a horrible experience in daycare, and I am expecting triplets. He took my license and registration and went to the back of my car. I was praying he'd give a triply pregnant lady a break. He came back after an eternity, with the ticket written out. He was like, "So, your baby is being a handful right now?" I said, "No, he's perfect. But I am pregnant with triplets RIGHT NOW, and I am extremely hormonal and having a terrible day. And do you know many diapers that money will buy?" He talked to me forever about how I can go to court, and if he doesn't show, I will win. And I can go to traffic school to keep it off my record. I said, "I can't go to traffic school! I have three babies in my belly!" He explained that it is online. As a former military guy and father, he tried to ask if I could get more money for dependents, and don't they have daycare programs I can do? OMG. No, we don't get more money, and, yes there are childcare programs, but I can't drive all the way to Coronado every time I need to put him in daycare. I was having those diaphragm spasms like Axel gets at daycare. Wouldn't it have been easier just to let the hormonal lady off to go take a nap and relax? I am crying just thinking about yesterday. The good news is, we went to the zoo, and it was AWESOME, and Axel slept like a baby when we got home. Brillo's lump was just a puss/water-filled cyst, and he did well. I was able to pick up Axel's shoes after I picked up Brillo, and Axel was perfect for the sitter while I ran those errands. Dave and I had a successful meeting with a local design/build company about remodeling our kitchen and adding a master suite. We had Thai takeout for dinner. My day ended fine. But I am still feeling sorry for myself about yesterday. No stay-at-home mom expects to have to stick her kid in daycare. I'll get over it. It just takes some getting used to.

xxoo

Today's Ultrasound Was Awesome.

Baby A is no longer in the A position, which Dr. U says is good. "C" is on his or her back with legs raised and right arm up at his/her face. "A" is on his or her left side, facing away from the camera. And Baby D couldn't fit on the screen. BTW, I put the names on this image. None of the ones she gave me today were labeled. :( I THINK these are correct, but I could be wrong.

My ultrasound went great today! The babies were all super active. It was hard to get their heartbeats, because they were moving too much! Dr. U says they are all measuring perfectly, and their fetal heart rates (FHRs) are great. She is very pleased, and so am I.

The way they were all moving was just adorable. With them changing position so much, and moving their arms and legs, it was easy to see "all of them." They looked soooo cute. I kept saying, "Aww, cute!" And Dr. U even said, "They ARE cute." Haha. I think all ultrasounds look the same, but man. They were just so darned animated and cute!

I asked a lot of questions, and all the answers were positive, so that's fantastic. I told her I get nervous when I have zero symptoms, and she empathized and said I needn't worry. So, from now on, I will just thank my lucky stars. I also asked about water intake. I'm tired of trying to guzzle water all day, and I'm REALLY tired of peeing all day. I told her I feel like it doesn't feel like it makes sense to keep pounding water if I'm just gonna pee it all out 30 min later. Luckily, she said I just need to listen to my body. If I'm peeing clear, there's no reason to overdo it. Awesome. She seemed pretty confident in how in-tune I am with my body, and that, in turn, gives me confidence. Very cool.

I have another appointment with her April 29, and yet another with the other doctors May 3. My mom will be in town for both of those! How cool is that?

Thanks for all the prayers. They seem to be working, so far!

Oh, and I also let the cat out of the bag today on Facebook. Wanted to solicit more prayers. :)

Baby is on his or her back, head on the left, feet on the right, with its hands up at its face. Cute!

The two identical babies are on the left. Di-Di baby is on the right.

Ultrasound tomorrow!

I am so happy. Tomorrow is ultrasound day; I'll be 11 weeks, 4 days. It's too early to know anything about the sexes, so I am just excited to go and see all three heartbeats and learn how they are growing. So exciting! I wonder how big I will be measuring. I wonder if they'll find an additional heartbeat that they didn't know about before. :) That last one is something most multiples moms worry about, for a long time. But I wouldn't mind. I was meant for four. With three, though, there is less chance I will be unable to care for Axel for long.

Pray for three strong heartbeats!

Parkin' it!

The playground at Eucalyptus park is the BEST! Look at this fun tunnel!

We have been going to the park a lot, because I simply can't do all the hiking and walking that we used to. Eucalyptus park is about 1.5 miles from our house. We used to walk there, but now we drive. :( It's a great place to take the boys, because it has a fun, clean, huge new playground, old-school slides and swings up on a huge hill, and tons of open space full of gophers for Brillo to try to catch. Brillo spends the whole time either digging or sticking his head in the ground. When he gets hot or thirsty, there is a cool stream for him to cool off in. Of course, it's a bit difficult to keep Axel out of the stream, but it's a trade-off. We usually spend about an hour at the park, and that is enough to wear the boys out completely. After all the outdoor fun, Axel is always ready for his lunch and a nap. Thank God for that park!

These pictures will illustrate how good Axel has become at playing. He is so strong. He can dangle from bars and swing his legs back and forth. He can climb ladders, go up and down slides, and hang from the monkey bars! He's amazing! Check out the pics!

Swingin'!

The twisty slide is super!

Little Man on the playground steps.

Brillo loves Eucalyptus park, too. There are zillions of gophers to chase!

Who you callin' a dirty dog?

Love the tunnel.

Axel is a daredevil. No fear on top of the monkey bars!

This is not trick photography.

Weeee!

His latest skills are swinging from bars and climbing this wobbly ladder!

Balancing on the Eucalyptus stumps is easy for my Axel Berry.

Watch me swing!

Feeling Well

I feel good. Too good. My mom says there is no such thing as feeling too good, but it just makes me a little nervous. My belly is getting bigger, but I have a lot of my energy back, and I have zero morning sickness. I do rely heavily upon my afternoon naps, and I get headaches when I fail to drink my gallon of water each day, but I feel so normal. My next appointment is Monday, and I cannot wait to see those reassuring heartbeats!